Morning Pillar

No, he doesn't know why everything always turns out this way. He doesn't feel anything when he wakes up with her the next day. He wishes there was rain -- and thunder -- and wind. But all he has is a faith that's wearing thin. She is not awake yet, the ocean breeze sends a wisp of her walnut hair to play along her face. And he is steeped in their regret -- or his, but she will join him soon. Lying in white silk, white everywhere: on sheets, pillars, and drapes. The ocean's waves accuse them while its roar gives an excuse. She moves a little and reaches for his arm. Invisible, unexplainable is the attraction that pulls them together. They will never be happy in this life, though when the sun sets just so -- then he thinks they will. But how can they? Money, jewels, drink, and parties...palms and oceans and sex. Even love, yes love, and cars, travel, books, and music --this is all they have. Marble floors are cold in the morning and he gives them a look to match. She is awake now and her green eyes search his. There is a smile there, even a spark. But they can't hide her despair when she realizes he is only him and nothing else.

Guvy

Moon and Cheese

I think i may have forgotten my own voice -- as tragic as that is. When I write, I wonder if it's really me or some cheap immitation. Cheap...and weak too. Jesus, fill me and let this be the place of my battle. He's right, I'm right. It's all worthless without You. And even now, as I sit totally convinced, my pen wavers just a little. I am in desperate fear of that small betrayal. To trade a Judas kiss for 30 pieces of what I want. We're not so far apart -- we and Judas. Not very. Dreams be dreams, let the past run and die. I want to write songs. Something that will be at home with the sun, and the drops of rain that streak against my window. Words that meld perfectly with a howling wind and pounding surf. Forget your beer and your pot and your parties...what about the scratching of palm leaves against each other. What about stars that call your soul to sing? A moon whose craterous imperfections remind me that the beauty isn't from the surface...but radiates. It glows. It shines and illuminates, casting its legacy through spindly branches and down quiet creeks which may never give it recognition or homage. Follow the moon as it changes and grows, shrinks and moans. Walk the path in night, dodge the knfeman or take the scar. Run...run...run...watch the moon...watch the moon...

Meh, why not? Hello. I say, I say. Hello. :)

wish you were here

A magnificent day. Absolutely, unbelievably postcard-perfect. The sky sporting a rich blue with just the right amount of marshmallow-white to keep things interesting. On the way back from skipping math, I looked up and got lost in the sky, that breath of wind pushing against my freckles...I was speechless against the sheer beauty. So I closed my eyes for a moment -- and almost got hit by a car. :)

Dreams be Dreams

I feel gyped. I never remember my dreams, save one or two a month but those are only the extremely bizarre. I woke up this morning and as I made my way into the shower I knew that I had an awesome dream last night, but I couldn't remember what it was. I stood there with my shirt half-off, blinking hard and straining to remember. Frustrating. Two nights ago my friend Mario dreamed that he was arrested, taken to a park, and made to ride the swing because he's afraid of heights. Do you remember your dreams? I've never had a recurring dream, have you?

I think I may have an opportunity to do something ridiculous this summer. How ridiculous? How about spending six weeks in Alaska canning salmon. Is that ridiculous enough? From where I'm sitting, that's pretty freaking ridiculous. Then again, it offers more money then I usually make all three months combined, plus I've never been to Alaska and it seems like such an..."experience." Trying to work on a cruise ship doesn't appear to be panning out, but still I'm excited for summer. The first week at Galen's digging dirt, moving rock, building gazebos -- what fun! Then to the frozen tundra, or wherever God takes me. It's kinda fun cause it's all the stupendously unknown. Ah, balancing on the fine rock edge of a ravine, the sun beating on my face, the sound of crashing waves filling my ear. Could this be my first real step into life?

Anyway, that's all for now -- it seems like everyday is punctuated with some crazy amount of wack-ness that keeps me off balance. Today I try to get into the poshest dorm on campus! Brewster, here I come! Frozen tundra, here I come! Beautiful beach, here I come!

Intermission

Seeing as I and it seems many other of my fellow bloggers have been experiencing droubts, I suggest you pick up The Alchemist to hold you over until things return to normal. :) Love you all, yadda, yadda, yadda. :)

cheerio!