Tuesday Before Friday

Today started great. I didn't work, which in itself is plenty reason to celebrate. I had to drive for a total of 5 hours today, much of it in infamous Seattle traffic, but it was okay because I got to meet a friend I haven't seen in over a year. I had a blast drinking coffee, 'adjusting' mannequins in Fred Meyer, buying ridiculous stuff at Value Village, and just spending time with her. It is inspiring to watch her chase her dreams and actually do what she's always talked about while others make excuses like 'some day' and 'maybe.'

But like so many other good days, I managed to screw this one up too. Why is this? How do I find ways to ruin so many good things? How is it that I hurt the people I value the most-even unintentionally? The sinking pit in my stomach and bitter realization that I have failed someone I care about is unbearable. It only took a couple minutes of perhaps careless words. Words that I even thought were best. I don't know what to say. I never do. It is when I think I know that the words I speak fall painfully on a friend. I'm sorry, Crystal.

In the morning when I rise,
In the morning when I rise,
In the morning when I rise give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus

And when I am alone,
Oh, and when I am alone,
And when I am alone give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus

And when I come to die,
Oh, and when I come to die,
And when I come to die give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus.

-Fernando Ortega