Seventy thousand miles from nowhere so am I somewhere? I FORGET EVERYTHING!!! I forgot to call, forgot to go, forgot to send, forgot to do, forgot to remember, forgot to love, forgot to forget. What is wrong? Write it down, I guess. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a writer. Remember what you say? Everyone is a writer, just not everyone writes. Maybe...I wonder why I don't feel like pleasing God, but I haven't spent time with him for so long. Forgotten. Forgotten how to climb into His lap. Forgotten the pattern of his hands. His laugh, my straining ears can't hear it. Those warm eyes that surround me and tell me everything I need. How I miss those eyes. They change color: a green that makes me feel such peace, a brilliant blue, an earthy brown, grey, orange, and purple. Navy, white, and a color without a name. It's this color that I love the most. Have you ever tried to describe a color to a blind person? I haven't, but I wouldn't know how. The color without a name, it's like the spray from a speedboat as I race across the ocean. It's the first snow of winter, the letter in my mailbox, and the quiet fog on my walk. It's as slow as September but as exciting as July. It's a warmth building in my chest and I want to burst into a thousand rays of joy, to smile the biggest smile, to run to the closest friend and hug them forever. It's the magnifying glass that shows me the details-the moving grass, the gentle presence of everything. It's the hearing aid to tell me about the silence. Take your best memory, the one you hold onto when everything around you wants to give up-the one that you think of at least once a day-this color is that.
How? How do I get back? I've washed ashore somewhere that looks vaguley familiar, but somehow isn't quite right. It's a little embarassing...Almost humiliating to find myself near drowned. There's not much left of me-matted hair, torn clothes, a left shoe. Somewhere I want to keep swimming in that puddle-to let it all sweep me away to wherever it goes, if only just to see. But I can't. Because I remember that color. That color I can't name. That color I can't forget.
The musings, laughter, anguish, and tears of a Stickman living the life drawn for him by the Artist. "I must learn to serve the Artist first, His pen directs my path. He breathes life into these worn-out sticks, And stickmen will see at last."
About Me
- MRJ
- Poor. Student. Firefighter. EMT. Kind. Optimistic. Shy. Dreamer. Fool. Happy.
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6 comments:
Lackaday! It's beautiful! Epic!
Oh that color, the nameless color! How it calls and says follow off the beaten path and it goes somewhere I know I want to, I know I belong to, I know I was made to, but the whole nameless thing... I can't quite pin it down, quantify the color, describe it, rationalize it, reason with it... I can't name the color, can't follow what I can't name. It might just not be safe. So here I go, left foot right foot on the narrow road. But that road the nameless color treads, isn't it more narrow? Oh I'm so confused.
Bravo Matt! You've moved me. You've stirred me up again Matt. It's all going to begin now, for the umpteenth time.
Your color looks more like a sound. It resonates in the soul...
now that's lovely(smile)
I totally understand what you mean. However, last night I realized how many places you can see Him. You can see Him in your best friend. You can see Him in every person that you truly love. His face is in everything. It is everywhere. Sometimes, I may not understand why He does certain things, but eventually they all make sense. Like last night... Valentine's Day is supposed to be about couples right? You know, the whole Single Awareness Day that I was talking about? Well, last night I realized that I would rather spend a Valentine's Day with the people that I love then some guy who I am never going to see again. Shocking... I never thought I would reach that point. But, He showed me all of the people that I love so dearly and then I was so happy. It flooded over my body. I have never had tears of happiness before last night. Well, I enjoyed your writing. It was beautiful! Take care! I hope that you had a great day like I did yesterday.
ok. i believe everybody has had an opportunity to read this marvelous post, and has taken the initiative to do so, out of everyone who reads your marvelous work. ...but... (yes, here it comes,publicly, so more people will bug you about writing something new because when i tell you to write something new, it obviously has no effect) it has now been 12 days since your last post. i know, i know, i am such a jerk, but somebody has to be, or there would be nobody to be mad at! and by the way, i have no idea what color you are talking about, unless it is yellow... (that was the final moronic comment of this comment).
comment noted. Please know that the coincidence of a new post has nothing to do with your heartless badgering. For your information, I have a new notebook which i love a lot and have been writing in that more. Also, Happy BIRTHDAY!!! Sorry I'm late, but luv ya anyway. :)
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