Poison Rose

Why have I never let go from this pain? You've said you trust me, you've even said you love me. But you never saw the heart you broke. You can make me feel so angry, still I can't help but smile. You're the tears I never let fall and the laugh I never held back.

It will never be possible. I will never be more than a trusted friend. Though often invisible, I have always been just a little behind you-walking in your shadow. You were my poison rose-beautiful, sweet, and warm. But it seemed that you pulled me in only to strike me with thorns. I tried to hold you closely at a distance-it was too painfully unreal. When real is what we search for, why stand upon this road?

For years I stood and waited. Just stood-not sure why. Maybe I thought you held something I would never find on my own. Months passed and seasons swept by. Still I stood shivering in the rain. That road stretched forever, and sometimes I thought I saw you out where blacktop meets the sky. Familiar voices called me back, but my feet refused to move. Still I stood with palms turned out, waiting for any words to give me hope.

Still more time ticked past, each swing of the pendulum turning me from my watch. Finally I moved away. At last I freed myself from the grip of hope unfounded. Days ago I heard you calling and saw you running-not away but closer. I stopped for just a moment, voices shouting from everywhere what I should do. I listened to you. I saw you. I moved.

I turned to walk away, my steps taking me where blacktop meets the sky. Are you watching me go? Will you wait shivering in the rain? Years and more years of smiles, tears, heartbreak, and joy. The rain fell like knives into my eyes. What you are to me is not what you were. You were my poison rose.